Type of boundaries and how to protect them There are many different types of boundaries. One of the most frequent ones is the time boundary or when we are busy all the time and it becomes busy to be busy. Building awareness of your boundaries will protect your time, your energy, and your emotional capacity. Time boundary is what we all hear all the time when we meet someone and when we want to schedule a meeting. It happens when we have a low level of awareness and we let the outside world take us hostage. 1. Time boundaries Time boundaries protect your most precious resource (time 😊). They manage how many hours you dedicate to relationships and activities. We respect these boundaries by allowing others to define for themselves how to manage their time. Exercise – food for your thought: 2. Emotional boundaries There are many different types of boundaries. One of the most overseen is the emotional boundary when we are fighting our emotions and we make decisions based on our logic only. Emotional boundaries drain your energy and keep you in a victim’s mental status, taking a lot of time to come back to the state of mind that you had before. Emotional boundaries include not only how we want to feel but also how we want others to feel. In short, it means separating your feelings from the feelings of others. We respect emotional boundaries by letting each person have their own emotional experience without trying to manipulate it. It means feeling safe to experience our own authentic emotions and give others that safety as well. Exercise – food for your thought: 3. Psychological boundaries One of the most recurrent boundaries is psychological boundaries. Psychological boundaries deal with your thoughts, beliefs, and ideas, as well as how, when, and how much you want to share them. Each person is entitled to their worldview and personal way of interpreting reality. We respect psychological boundaries by honoring different belief systems and refraining from manipulation or pressuring others to share when they don’t want to. Exercise – food for your thought: You can actively work on your boundaries with me! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
You may or may not know that mentorship of disciples is the oldest learning path in the world. The term ‘disciple’ comes from the same word as ‘discipline.’ More specifically, the disciple executes all that the master asks of them. The reason for such behaviour is the complete faith in the mentor’s knowledge, skills and abilities and not out of fear. The disciple is committed to you—no matter what. And it is only disciples who can one day become masters themselves: only they are the disciplined ones. For thousands of years knowledge and skills have been passed from one generation to the other: from masters to disciples. It is interesting that one-on-one learning has lasted for so long. I also realized that it’s better to learn something one-on-one before going public. There are strong examples, such as father-son teaching, and teacher-student relationships. This is how you gain personalized knowledge and build trust in what you learn. You also have the opportunity to learn in your own time and at your own pace. The mentor-disciple relationship is the most effective way of learning. The state of discipleship entails a bond that forms between master and disciple. The relationship goes beyond mutual respect, admiration, dedication or duty. Yes, it entails trust and understanding, but that is not the whole thing. It is only one facet of the complex relationship between master and disciple. Let’s pause here. Think about people that you admired your whole life. What makes them special enough for you to admire them for so long? What can you learn about yourself when you reflect on that? How do you feel when you think of that? Do you have someone who fills the role of a mentor in your life right now? Switching roles, do you have any disciples? How do you approach them? What are their intentions in regards to learning, mostly when you are around? Can you observe whether they behave differently in your presence? Disciples are not around us all the time. It should be someone who is ready to invest a lot of time and energy in the learning process, to really ‘sweat it out’, and has the ability to absorb and assimilate lifetime teachings, instead of simply acquiring a new skill that will soon be forgotten or never used. It should be someone ready to do something different. The relationship between mentor and disciple is based on the respectable character of both sides, and the ability to conduct themselves in a moral and professional manner, with complete faith in one another. If you think about this type of relationship, in what way do you see it relevant to you and your leadership role? So far, we talked about the fact that not anyone can be a disciple. You probably guessed that, likewise, not everyone can be a master. A master is a great leader. This implies conscious efforts on all aspects of your career no matter how open or closed your business environment is. And the single most important role of a leader? To help people grow. This can only be achieved once you managed to help yourself grow. A master leader creates learning opportunities from any interaction, discussion, challenge, success or failure. They always put learning first and results second. There are three steps towards becoming a master. (These steps are taken from Robert Green.) Apprenticeship: This step is when we learn the basic elements and rules of something new. We do not feel yet as though we know the territory, because we are still outsiders. We do not yet see the full picture, just parts of it, and we cannot really connect those parts together. Our powers are limited. It requires a lot of hard work, effort and sweat to get past this phase. Only the ones who are determined and have a sense of purpose can go through an apprenticeship successfully. This is a phase where we do not feel at all comfortable; Creative-Active: On this step we start to see the connection between things, and we expand our understanding of the play area. We are going ‘inside the system’ so we can have a view of what the system looks like. This comes with a new power: the ability to create and play with new elements; Mastery: This step is about clarity. It happens when our degree of knowledge, experience, and focus is so deep that we can now see the whole picture with complete clarity. If we consider painters, do they become great just because they have a great technique or because they ‘see’ clearly how the picture should look like when it’s complete? This is why the artwork of masters touches us to the core; the artist has captured something on the essence of reality, and created something that is about all of us. That is why the brilliant people, such as scientists, can uncover new laws of physics, and inventors or entrepreneurs can hit upon something that no one else has imagined. What I hear a lot these days is that we don’t have enough time to deepen our learning. On the other hand, if we look to the past, there have been very few people who became masters in something at one point. What happens when we do not master anything? We become slaves: to time—as it passes, we grow weak and less capable than we may realize. In his book Mastery, Robert Green offers a great description of this journey. In fact, without mastery, we are in a dead-end career. We become captive to the opinions of others. Rather than the mind connecting us to reality, we become disconnected and locked in a narrow chamber of thought. The human, who depends on focused attention for its survival, now becomes the distracted human who cannot really focus on anything. One final point. When the disciple becomes the master and teaches the lessons once again to pass them on, the gains become exponential. The learning that takes