This year has been a year of changes, divisions, and further splitting of people into opposing groups of hopes and beliefs. It seems that the next few years might not necessarily be better, maybe there will be more opportunities, we will see! I am noticing a lot of struggle with me and a lot of people around me, partly due to the recent ongoing election in my country. I am noticing suffering and big surprises that some of us had. Others probably have their hopes close to coming true. Our world is painful because we cannot accept its power to change and our impermanence. It is not change itself that is painful but our resistance to it. Moreover, we are exporting pain to places like Bangladesh, where our clothes are sewn, or to nature, where we bear responsibility for the incredible destruction of species—and yet we don’t even recognize that animals are capable of suffering. My daughter shared with me one of the optional classes that she enrolled in, and it is called “empathy across species” and I was embarrassed to realize that I never thought that animals could have empathy. We exclude those who suffer from the world of work, confine the elderly to homes, and try to delay death as long as possible. Many people have forgotten that we are part of this world and, therefore, so part of the eternal cycle of becoming, change, and decay. The less we surrender to this reality and the more artificial situations we create to protect ourselves, the more we help what we do not want to see return through the back door—in a different form, often one we have little control over. I am convinced, and shared with you, that to win a “battle” you have to become your enemy, the one that you hated too much. So what value-added, does the win have, Ultimately, we must admit that everything we dislike and everything we believe is beyond our control, was created by us. Talking to some friends, I said that we are all responsible for all the wars that we have now on this planet. And he was quite surprised about my conclusion. In reality, our thoughts, (no) actions, our behavior, ethics, decisions, etc – that we make with each human interaction, are the drivers for the (lack of) life that we live today. There is nothing for which we are not (co-)responsible. This is hard to understand because we have become masters at looking for—and usually finding—responsibility in “others.” How can I live with such responsibility without losing my laughter, cheerfulness, and good sleep? Acceptance of what is, helps us regain these qualities. And doing your part of the work in anything that you believe in. They are essential for changing anything. For some of us, this is a difficult path because daily suffering is not easy to bear. Everything in this world is connected; every person is also a mirror for you. We only have ourselves, and no one will come to save us. Our world is in constant flux; it is born every morning and dies every evening (metaphorically speaking). We assume the world will be the same tomorrow when we wake up as when we go to sleep. This certainty is both necessary and good. Yet, the morning may be different from the evening— for example, what happened with elections here for some of us. The world is not worse in such moments, just different. Taking care of ourselves when necessary, and helping when someone is going through difficult times—are all part of our humanity. Resisting what is, shouting “why, why,” is something we do to keep reality at bay and deny it. It is our frantic attempt to maintain some control over something much greater and wiser than us:Life. Saying “YES” to what is, also allows us to rediscover our laughter and cheerfulness—because why not laugh at things we cannot change anyway? And then go to work, enjoy the Christmas holidays, and all the other things that are on your plate – from this state of being.
Politics and networks at work are aspects of organizational dynamics, but they serve different functions and have distinct characteristics. One of my clients is struggling with that, as he sees both as something negative and wrong. I must confess that I was there too, and when you start doing something to improve and see the first results—you can do things either easier, faster, or better—then you realize that is a choice that might help. If you are doubting those “tools” as well, let me decode them below Workplace Politics Definition: Workplace politics refers to the activities and behaviors employees engage in to gain power, influence decisions, and achieve personal or organizational objectives. It often involves informal, unofficial, and sometimes behind-the-scenes efforts to shape opinions, form alliances, and advance personal or group interests. Characteristics: Examples: Workplace Networks Definition: Workplace networks refer to the web of relationships and connections that employees develop within and outside their organization. These networks can be formal (structured, organizational charts) or informal (personal relationships, mentorships). Characteristics: Examples: Key Differences Conclusion While both politics and networks involve interpersonal interactions and influence within the workplace, politics focuses on power and influence, often through strategic and competitive means, while networks emphasize building relationships for mutual benefit, support, and professional growth. Understanding both dynamics is crucial for navigating organizational life effectively.
As we look ahead to 2030 and the coming decade, leaders must adapt their strategies for an increasingly complex future. Here are 5 vital areas to prioritize:
In the present, the past is more knowable than the future, but people think far more about the future than the past. Both facts derive from the principle that the future can be changed, whereas the past cannot. Our theory of pragmatic prospection holds that people think about the future to guide actions and bring about desirable outcomes. Thoughts about the future begin by imagining what one wants to happen, which is thus initially optimistic.A second stage of such prospective thinking maps out how to bring that about. This stage is marked by consideration of obstacles, requisite steps, and other potential problems, and so it tends toward cautious realism and even pessimism.Pragmatic prospection presents a form of teleology in which brains can anticipate possible future events and use those cognitions to guide behavior. Toward that end, it invokes meaning, consistent with evidence that thinking about the future is highly meaningful. Prospection often has a narrative structure, involving a series of events in a temporal sequence linked together by meaning. Emotion is useful for evaluating different simulations of possible future events and plans.Prospection is socially learned and rests on socially constructed scaffolding for the future (e.g., dates). It seems that the future might look more and more chaotic and unpredictable; leaders will be challenged by being pushed close to their limits. Prospection is one of the leadership skills of the future. So how can leaders build resilience and stay productive? It seems that future-minded leaders have 21 % more productivity and most often are reaching their objectives. Studies are showing that coaching can improve 31%-100% of leaders’ prospects—this is what differentiates future-minded leaders from the rest! Source: :Kellerman, G.R. & Seligman, M. E. P. (2023). Tomorrowmind: Thriving at Work with Resilience, Creativity, and Connection—Now and in an Uncertain Future. Simon & Schuster. #FutureMindedLeadership #PragmaticProspection #ResilientLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #FutureOfWork #ProductivityBoost #CoachingForSuccess
What searching for meaning has to do with it? I was wondering, what do you think is your purpose when you lead people? It’s not just about achieving good results—that’s obvious. Do you aim to make your people happy?Do you strive to keep them engaged?Do you feel responsible for solving any issues that may arise? Expanding on the topic, what happens when we don’t understand our role as parents?Are you there solely to make your child happy? Or are you there to prepare them for life, enabling them to become who they want to be? Is the school’s role merely to keep kids happy? Or is it to impart knowledge and teach them how to learn for a lifelong journey? Our role as leaders, parents, or teachers isn’t solely to ensure people’s happiness. It’s to nurture growth. This doesn’t mean we can’t find happiness along the way; it means happiness isn’t the ultimate purpose—growth is. When your people feel inspired by you, it means they perceive you as not overly strict, not neglectful, and not seeking loyalty just because you’re a good person! It means they see your purpose and why you’re there! How do you find your meaning? Many young leaders (or aspiring ones) are on a profound quest for meaning. When they discover it, they’ll have determination, resilience, grit, and boundless energy to pursue it, unstoppable in their mission to change the world. The intention is truly beautiful. Do I find my meaning? Did you find yours?Frankly, I don’t know. Here’s what I’ve learned—STOP SEARCHING and START GIVING. It’s aching to seek a place called heaven on Google Maps. You won’t find it there, not because it doesn’t exist, but because you need to use the right map. Heaven is within, not pinned on Google Maps… Everything you believe is missing is here.Everything you search for outside resides within you.JUST THAT IT MIGHT TAKE YEARS TO REALIZE IT. Let me share a few ideas on how to nurture growth in your team: You can find meaning in everything you do and further help your team and people around you grow together with you! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
Finding Clarity in Complexity Through Emotional Agility One of this year’s discussion topics with leaders was chaos. There’s a part of it in our minds and another in reality. Let’s decode the chaos in reality, as it impacts our mental state. The extent of external influence on the mind varies. Some seek clarity and order—we could call it a “pharmacist mindset”—while others embrace chaos as a… The definition I resonate with is that chaos arises when our minds struggle to make sense or calculate due to complexity or when we lack the senses to connect. No wonder AI is increasingly present; it handles unpredictability and chaos better. Accepting chaos is crucial today. Embracing it reduces anxiety, letting us focus on what we can do instead of expending energy on what we can’t. Enter the Stacey matrix—a simple way to explain chaos, starting with simplicity. It’s Ralph Stacey’s approach to decision-making based on two variables present in any decision: Life isn’t a neatly packaged Hollywood flick. It’s messy. It’s complicated. It’s chaotic. The narratives we craft may falter against reality’s harsh light. In moments of despair, remember our narratives aren’t fixed but fluid. We’re the authors of our stories, shaping our pain into purpose and meaning. When you cannot live in the chaos with fluidity, it’s eating up all your energy. That is why you need to realize this truth and address it somehow. One of the ways to move forward, better, is through emotional agility. Emotional Agility at Work Empathy fatigue” or “compassion fatigue” isn’t caused by having “too much” compassion or empathy. Dialing back empathy when exhausted perpetuates burnout rather than reducing it. We need to nurture our innate connections with others instead of numbing ourselves. Rather than suppressing empathy, enhancing emotional management skills like self-care, setting boundaries, and understanding our sphere of influence can help combat this fatigue. You can read more about emotional management here. Becoming more compassionate involves noticing moments when we unintentionally withhold compassion. Sometimes, we’re so absorbed in our thoughts that we miss chances to care for ourselves and others. It’s the small gestures—taking on extra chores to support an anxious spouse or reaching out to a lonely friend in a new city—that truly make a difference. I will give you a few tips and tricks on how to exercise and develop your empathy and compassion: Let’s strive to enhance our empathy and compassion by recognizing these opportunities in our daily lives! And let’s move on with fluidity through chaos! You can actively develop your emotional skills with me! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
Beyond Expertise: Redefining Leadership in the Modern Workplace Are you telling people often what to do? When is it appropriate to tell your team members what to do versus letting them figure it out for themselves? When mindset and level of awareness are involved? What’s best for both short and long-term goals for the team? When they discover the answer for themselves, it has more meaning and they learn to trust themselves. When you tell them the answer, you might be frustrated that you don’t have time for what’s important and get pulled into operations. When it’s a fact or a great truth, say it, and always ask “What do you think?” Great truths are things like: -Women talk with friends to create bonds.-Men identify strongly with their jobs/careers/work.-Some people are content with the status quo and have no interest in changing. People who think that they are smart, need to tell others what to do, as the others are not smart enough to know. And one of the downsides of that is that you are not open to learning anymore, as you know everything most of the time. So what should you learn about? What I noticed is that most people are working hard to look smart and very few play dumb. I guess both are helpful depending on the context and intentions. Play dumb sometimes Your attitude is critical. If you approach a leadership role as though you’re the expert and you know what’s best for your team, not only you will not be accepted, but you’re also dismissing people’s performance and knowledge. The more you demonstrate curiosity and desire to understand who your people are, the better your leadership skills will grow. Being willing to be wrong about any attitude or belief is imperative. Phrases such as “I’m a little confused” or “I may be wrong, but it seems as though…” not only invite your people to share better information but also demonstrate that you are the outside, objective listener that you should be. And show appreciation for what your people know and achieve through their own experience and that they are empowered for their job results. 🤝 Leadership is not about being right or wrong; it’s about getting your people to believe in their actions. I invite you to find the perfect balance between smart and dumb! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
An expression of the deepest part of us The significance of the universal archetypes is more than we might realize, it’s part of our lives and most of the stories that we love. Archetypes play a vital role for anyone when it comes to storytelling. This is how we develop and evolve in life. Starting with how we raise our children to how we impact our business environment. But more importantly, our way to storytelling it’s essential for your own psychological and spiritual development. What inspires me these days is the archetype of The Sage – Knower of Wisdom and Seer of Truth. When you think that you are anything but wise, please remember that the sage archetype is an expression of the deepest part of us. The sage archetype represents an intuitive knowing within us that transcends our conscious minds (ego). It’s associated with wisdom, knowledge, morality, and great power. There are more than 20 expressions of a Sage, what I like the most is “the Magician’. In our childhood stories and today’s movies, when someone faces a difficult challenge and is unable to solve the problem on his own, a wise figure presents itself to provide aid. And this is when we can show our wisdom or magic. While Magicians can play a variety of roles in any story, they usually step in to do one or more of the following: In Harry Potter, we have Dumbledore, in The Lord of the Rings we have Gandalf, in Star Wars we have Yoda, and in Matrix, we have Morpheus. I am wondering who you have as your Magician. And what kind of movies do you like?And just between you and me – the movies that we like are saying a lot about who we are. There are many magicians around you! There is also magic inside you. I can guide you and help you find the support you need to become the hero that you know you are. Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
Tips and tricks that help you manage your emotions Emotional management and difficult relationships are closely linked because effective emotional management is essential for navigating challenging interpersonal dynamics. Regulating your emotions means taking responsibility for your feelings, reactions, and your internal world. Have your emotions work for you, not against you. There are a lot of debates and discussions this year on emotional regulation/ management, and from my experience, I noticed that the more uncertainty we have, the less we can regulate/ manage our emotions. Tips and tricks for emotional management: The more my clients took emotional management as their objective, they went easily through the 3 phases of learning: Emotional management is a problem within the problem. Most people stop working on emotional regulation after the first phase of learning, being afraid or emotionally interfering with the possibility of not making it. It might look too scary or to hard work to solve it once you know. And they stop taking action, that would be the way to change habits and beliefs. The more you feel your emotions consciously and on your terms, the more you can stay present and manage difficult conversations in an effective way. Do you have a plan before starting a difficult conversation? When you notice yourself putting off a difficult conversation, take the proactive step of planning for the discussion. Start by answering the following questions (from Judy Ringer’s ‘checklist for difficult conversations’): These questions can help you reflect on your motives, and then imagine the other person as a potential partner, rather than an opponent. In today’s world, we can add value whenever we consider a win-win conversation with a partner. When we think win-lose, difficult conversations might bother us for a long time. You can actively develop your emotional management skills with me! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
The link between working hard and life disappointment Recently I started to work with a client on a customized management program on WLC – work-life coaching. After going through this process with several clients already, I realized that most of us might have a very wrong belief. For example: when we were learning in school, how were we told to learn – learn hard? If you do not learn hard, you might not have great opportunities in life. When we are working now, how do we believe we should work to have success and a great career? We should work hard. After +25 years of working hard, I now know that it is not right or wrong. Sometimes we work hard, but if we do not have enough wisdom, we will destroy ourselves. This is wrong for the business as naturally it will have more and more challenges to motivate and retain people, and wrong for us as well as work and career are more like a marathon than a sprint. Even if you feel that others are expecting you to run sprints all the time, did you see anyone running a marathon as a sprint? What does being heard feel like? Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.— David Augsburger When you work hard most of the time, it’s possible to have a state of mind that is anything but pleasant, to you and others. So you might become disappointed quite often. DISAPPOINTED? Ever ordered a medium-rare steak in a restaurant, and it was served to you well done?Ever asked your teen in the morning to do the dishes and come home from work to find out that they’re not done?Ever driven somewhere, and it took you twice as long because of a construction area?Ever done tons of exercise and gotten on the scale two weeks later just to find that your weight is the same?Ever gone to your doctor for a routine wax clean-out and left with a surgery date on your schedule? Expecting life to always turn out the way you want is guaranteed to lead to disappointment because life has its way of turning out. And when those unfulfilled expectations include also the failure of other people to behave the way you expect them to, the disappointment will turn to resentment. Why don’t we get upset when a cup of coffee does not make itself, but we might get upset if someone else does not make us a cup of coffee? Where do we get the sense of power to think that merely expecting others to behave the way we want them to will make them behave that way? And what entitles us to get angry at other people when they fail to meet our expectations? Expectations with people are often based on an implicit social contract. That is, without actually verbalizing expectations about give-and-take in a relationship, people construct stories in their heads about legitimate expectations of each other. So, people in a relationship have a “deal” in which the deal’s specifics are never really talked about. It is hard for someone to live up to your expectations when they don’t know what they are, but you still might see this failure as a violation of your social contract. And if you have an irritated state of being… then it’s clear that you are mostly disappointed. Becoming aware of this link might ring a bell for you as it rang a bell for me too. More on this topic: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201802/the-psychology-expectations I can help you transform working hard into working smart! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
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