This year has been a year of changes, divisions, and further splitting of people into opposing groups of hopes and beliefs. It seems that the next few years might not necessarily be better, maybe there will be more opportunities, we will see! I am noticing a lot of struggle with me and a lot of people around me, partly due to the recent ongoing election in my country. I am noticing suffering and big surprises that some of us had. Others probably have their hopes close to coming true. Our world is painful because we cannot accept its power to change and our impermanence. It is not change itself that is painful but our resistance to it. Moreover, we are exporting pain to places like Bangladesh, where our clothes are sewn, or to nature, where we bear responsibility for the incredible destruction of species—and yet we don’t even recognize that animals are capable of suffering. My daughter shared with me one of the optional classes that she enrolled in, and it is called “empathy across species” and I was embarrassed to realize that I never thought that animals could have empathy. We exclude those who suffer from the world of work, confine the elderly to homes, and try to delay death as long as possible. Many people have forgotten that we are part of this world and, therefore, so part of the eternal cycle of becoming, change, and decay. The less we surrender to this reality and the more artificial situations we create to protect ourselves, the more we help what we do not want to see return through the back door—in a different form, often one we have little control over. I am convinced, and shared with you, that to win a “battle” you have to become your enemy, the one that you hated too much. So what value-added, does the win have, Ultimately, we must admit that everything we dislike and everything we believe is beyond our control, was created by us. Talking to some friends, I said that we are all responsible for all the wars that we have now on this planet. And he was quite surprised about my conclusion. In reality, our thoughts, (no) actions, our behavior, ethics, decisions, etc – that we make with each human interaction, are the drivers for the (lack of) life that we live today. There is nothing for which we are not (co-)responsible. This is hard to understand because we have become masters at looking for—and usually finding—responsibility in “others.” How can I live with such responsibility without losing my laughter, cheerfulness, and good sleep? Acceptance of what is, helps us regain these qualities. And doing your part of the work in anything that you believe in. They are essential for changing anything. For some of us, this is a difficult path because daily suffering is not easy to bear. Everything in this world is connected; every person is also a mirror for you. We only have ourselves, and no one will come to save us. Our world is in constant flux; it is born every morning and dies every evening (metaphorically speaking). We assume the world will be the same tomorrow when we wake up as when we go to sleep. This certainty is both necessary and good. Yet, the morning may be different from the evening— for example, what happened with elections here for some of us. The world is not worse in such moments, just different. Taking care of ourselves when necessary, and helping when someone is going through difficult times—are all part of our humanity. Resisting what is, shouting “why, why,” is something we do to keep reality at bay and deny it. It is our frantic attempt to maintain some control over something much greater and wiser than us:Life. Saying “YES” to what is, also allows us to rediscover our laughter and cheerfulness—because why not laugh at things we cannot change anyway? And then go to work, enjoy the Christmas holidays, and all the other things that are on your plate – from this state of being.
Politics and networks at work are aspects of organizational dynamics, but they serve different functions and have distinct characteristics. One of my clients is struggling with that, as he sees both as something negative and wrong. I must confess that I was there too, and when you start doing something to improve and see the first results—you can do things either easier, faster, or better—then you realize that is a choice that might help. If you are doubting those “tools” as well, let me decode them below Workplace Politics Definition: Workplace politics refers to the activities and behaviors employees engage in to gain power, influence decisions, and achieve personal or organizational objectives. It often involves informal, unofficial, and sometimes behind-the-scenes efforts to shape opinions, form alliances, and advance personal or group interests. Characteristics: Examples: Workplace Networks Definition: Workplace networks refer to the web of relationships and connections that employees develop within and outside their organization. These networks can be formal (structured, organizational charts) or informal (personal relationships, mentorships). Characteristics: Examples: Key Differences Conclusion While both politics and networks involve interpersonal interactions and influence within the workplace, politics focuses on power and influence, often through strategic and competitive means, while networks emphasize building relationships for mutual benefit, support, and professional growth. Understanding both dynamics is crucial for navigating organizational life effectively.
As we look ahead to 2030 and the coming decade, leaders must adapt their strategies for an increasingly complex future. Here are 5 vital areas to prioritize:
In the present, the past is more knowable than the future, but people think far more about the future than the past. Both facts derive from the principle that the future can be changed, whereas the past cannot. Our theory of pragmatic prospection holds that people think about the future to guide actions and bring about desirable outcomes. Thoughts about the future begin by imagining what one wants to happen, which is thus initially optimistic.A second stage of such prospective thinking maps out how to bring that about. This stage is marked by consideration of obstacles, requisite steps, and other potential problems, and so it tends toward cautious realism and even pessimism.Pragmatic prospection presents a form of teleology in which brains can anticipate possible future events and use those cognitions to guide behavior. Toward that end, it invokes meaning, consistent with evidence that thinking about the future is highly meaningful. Prospection often has a narrative structure, involving a series of events in a temporal sequence linked together by meaning. Emotion is useful for evaluating different simulations of possible future events and plans.Prospection is socially learned and rests on socially constructed scaffolding for the future (e.g., dates). It seems that the future might look more and more chaotic and unpredictable; leaders will be challenged by being pushed close to their limits. Prospection is one of the leadership skills of the future. So how can leaders build resilience and stay productive? It seems that future-minded leaders have 21 % more productivity and most often are reaching their objectives. Studies are showing that coaching can improve 31%-100% of leaders’ prospects—this is what differentiates future-minded leaders from the rest! Source: :Kellerman, G.R. & Seligman, M. E. P. (2023). Tomorrowmind: Thriving at Work with Resilience, Creativity, and Connection—Now and in an Uncertain Future. Simon & Schuster. #FutureMindedLeadership #PragmaticProspection #ResilientLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #FutureOfWork #ProductivityBoost #CoachingForSuccess
What searching for meaning has to do with it? I was wondering, what do you think is your purpose when you lead people? It’s not just about achieving good results—that’s obvious. Do you aim to make your people happy?Do you strive to keep them engaged?Do you feel responsible for solving any issues that may arise? Expanding on the topic, what happens when we don’t understand our role as parents?Are you there solely to make your child happy? Or are you there to prepare them for life, enabling them to become who they want to be? Is the school’s role merely to keep kids happy? Or is it to impart knowledge and teach them how to learn for a lifelong journey? Our role as leaders, parents, or teachers isn’t solely to ensure people’s happiness. It’s to nurture growth. This doesn’t mean we can’t find happiness along the way; it means happiness isn’t the ultimate purpose—growth is. When your people feel inspired by you, it means they perceive you as not overly strict, not neglectful, and not seeking loyalty just because you’re a good person! It means they see your purpose and why you’re there! How do you find your meaning? Many young leaders (or aspiring ones) are on a profound quest for meaning. When they discover it, they’ll have determination, resilience, grit, and boundless energy to pursue it, unstoppable in their mission to change the world. The intention is truly beautiful. Do I find my meaning? Did you find yours?Frankly, I don’t know. Here’s what I’ve learned—STOP SEARCHING and START GIVING. It’s aching to seek a place called heaven on Google Maps. You won’t find it there, not because it doesn’t exist, but because you need to use the right map. Heaven is within, not pinned on Google Maps… Everything you believe is missing is here.Everything you search for outside resides within you.JUST THAT IT MIGHT TAKE YEARS TO REALIZE IT. Let me share a few ideas on how to nurture growth in your team: You can find meaning in everything you do and further help your team and people around you grow together with you! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
Tips and tricks that help you manage your emotions Emotional management and difficult relationships are closely linked because effective emotional management is essential for navigating challenging interpersonal dynamics. Regulating your emotions means taking responsibility for your feelings, reactions, and your internal world. Have your emotions work for you, not against you. There are a lot of debates and discussions this year on emotional regulation/ management, and from my experience, I noticed that the more uncertainty we have, the less we can regulate/ manage our emotions. Tips and tricks for emotional management: The more my clients took emotional management as their objective, they went easily through the 3 phases of learning: Emotional management is a problem within the problem. Most people stop working on emotional regulation after the first phase of learning, being afraid or emotionally interfering with the possibility of not making it. It might look too scary or to hard work to solve it once you know. And they stop taking action, that would be the way to change habits and beliefs. The more you feel your emotions consciously and on your terms, the more you can stay present and manage difficult conversations in an effective way. Do you have a plan before starting a difficult conversation? When you notice yourself putting off a difficult conversation, take the proactive step of planning for the discussion. Start by answering the following questions (from Judy Ringer’s ‘checklist for difficult conversations’): These questions can help you reflect on your motives, and then imagine the other person as a potential partner, rather than an opponent. In today’s world, we can add value whenever we consider a win-win conversation with a partner. When we think win-lose, difficult conversations might bother us for a long time. You can actively develop your emotional management skills with me! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
Type of boundaries and how to protect them There are many different types of boundaries. One of the most frequent ones is the time boundary or when we are busy all the time and it becomes busy to be busy. Building awareness of your boundaries will protect your time, your energy, and your emotional capacity. Time boundary is what we all hear all the time when we meet someone and when we want to schedule a meeting. It happens when we have a low level of awareness and we let the outside world take us hostage. 1. Time boundaries Time boundaries protect your most precious resource (time 😊). They manage how many hours you dedicate to relationships and activities. We respect these boundaries by allowing others to define for themselves how to manage their time. Exercise – food for your thought: 2. Emotional boundaries There are many different types of boundaries. One of the most overseen is the emotional boundary when we are fighting our emotions and we make decisions based on our logic only. Emotional boundaries drain your energy and keep you in a victim’s mental status, taking a lot of time to come back to the state of mind that you had before. Emotional boundaries include not only how we want to feel but also how we want others to feel. In short, it means separating your feelings from the feelings of others. We respect emotional boundaries by letting each person have their own emotional experience without trying to manipulate it. It means feeling safe to experience our own authentic emotions and give others that safety as well. Exercise – food for your thought: 3. Psychological boundaries One of the most recurrent boundaries is psychological boundaries. Psychological boundaries deal with your thoughts, beliefs, and ideas, as well as how, when, and how much you want to share them. Each person is entitled to their worldview and personal way of interpreting reality. We respect psychological boundaries by honoring different belief systems and refraining from manipulation or pressuring others to share when they don’t want to. Exercise – food for your thought: You can actively work on your boundaries with me! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!
Main barriers and how to overcome them 1. Being impatient Yes, it’s true – we want to engage momentum with our creative projects and pursuits. I think it is important to contribute in real time to our projects every day to maintain ourfocus, intention, and commitment to completion. It is important to be patient with yourself and the process of getting things done. Patience takes the pressure off of us, while not letting us off the hook with keeping our commitments to ourselves. Patience and trust live close together. We have to trust ourselves that we can get things done, we need to trust that our creative self-expression is a valuable part of making meaning in our lives. We need to trust that even if things are going slower than we want them to, that patience is part of the progress. It is also part of letting ourselves rest and not constantly pushing. Journaling prompts to cultivate patience: 2. Not having clear goals and priorities Having clear goals and priorities combined with taking daily actions towards them – adds up to a significant body of completed projects and many accomplishments over time. Journaling prompts for gaining clarity and setting priorities: 3. Having trouble saying NO Being able to say “no” to some things, allows you to say “yes” to others. For many reasons, saying “no” can be difficult for many people. Saying “no” in effective and empowering ways can take practice and support. As my late colleague, Lucia Capacchione, once said to me: saying no is so crucial to having success in your life Journaling prompts for saying “No:”The word “no” is an important part of assertive communication and setting boundaries. Without it, we would say “yes” to everything and risk becoming overwhelmed and burnt out. When you witness other people say “no” and set limits with their time so they can prioritize their creative work, how do you feel about them? Do you admire them? Resent them? Wish you could do that too. Just get curious about this. We can learn a lot about our relationship to the word “no” by witnessing how we feel about other people’s “no’s”. 4. Dealing with distractions Getting distracted is a normal part of our work life.Taking a moment to pause and reflect on where distractions get in the way of completing things can be a valuable step in overcoming them.If you think this is your problem too, when journaling you can answer these questions : 5. Procrastination and putting things off Procrastination might very well be the number one obstacle to getting work completed.Procrastination and perfectionism can often present together.According to author, Lauren Sapala, procrastination can sometimes be caused by feeling anxious about what we are working on or putting out in the world. She suggests it is important to meet procrastination with self-compassion and get curious, without self-judgment, about what we might need to help overcome it. If you think this is your problem too, when journaling you can answer these questions : Conclusion Inspired by a discussion with a client that I admire, I feel inspired to share with you some universal truths that I reflected upon regarding how we can get more /better from the work that we aim to do. Many things can support us to complete our work. Among them, is our ability to know ourselves and our unique ways of working towards and meeting the realities of completion and success in our lives.One of my favorite tools for self-awareness is journaling. I also use it as a true companion practice to support my pursuits. There are many ways journaling can help engage in and complete, work of all kinds! For example, journaling can help you to: I know it is not easy. As a coach I am trained to see patterns, so let’s meet and decode for you what’s in the way and how you can overcome it. You can actively work with me and break all these barriers! Schedule a meeting here and let’s start this journey together!